Take A Number, Potter
by K.R. Saks
Summary: ONE-SHOT. How to get Lily Evans to go out with him? Brag about himself? Punch her goody two shoes boyfriend in the face? But when all else fails, pull out the last straw in the goblet and ask for a miracle.


**Disclaimer: **All familiar characters belong to JK Rowling!

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**Take A Number, Potter**

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Lily seated herself in one of the vacated armchairs in front of the fireplace. A book was in her hands, but it was closed, a bookmark marking the page she last read.

That had been a few hours ago.

She had just returned from yet another Hogsmeade trip, and to say the least, she had not left with particularly fond memories. It wasn't to say that she hadn't enjoyed her date, but at the same time, it hadn't been very interesting. Jenson Farrell had been entirely too mushy and too pushy.

But Lily wasn't an extremely picky girl. She stuck with Jenson, because despite his tendency to overreact, he was still a nice boy at heart.

She yawned again and snuggled into the plethora of cushions. There was still an hour or two before dinnertime. A little nap wouldn't hurt. Alice was still flirting away with Frank Longbottom in some obscure cupboard, so Lily was left with nothing to do and plenty of time.

And for possibly the first time in her life, Lily Evans flung her book across the room. She had spent her life at Hogwarts with her nose stuck in one of those things. In fact, her bookworm habits had gotten so serious that her mum had threatened to kick her out of the house if she hadn't gotten a boyfriend the next time she wrote. Lily had begrudgingly taken her mum's advice and ended up with a Seventh Year Hufflepuff.

Content with these thoughts, she was about to drift into slumber when, out of nowhere, a book came flying at her. _Her _book, to be more specific. Startled, she jumped up, but the book had already reached its destination and landed in her lap, cover up.

The person knew how to throw, and there was only one who would bother pulling such a stunt. Lily blew out a sigh, crossed her arms, and leaned back against the couch. She smiled exaggeratedly at the fire. "Good evening, Potter."

There was a faint chuckle and James popped up on her right. His trademark smirk was in place, his hazel eyes bright as usual.

"Looks like you've taken my advice fairly well, Evans," he drawled. "Knew you'd come around soon enough."

Lily grinned up at him. "Oh, Potter," she said, faking a dramatic swoon. "You really are starting to sprout motherly feelings. You even taught me a hundred different ways to toss my book away."

His smirk faltered just a bit, but he was too arrogant to admit defeat. Instead, he smiled coyly and helped himself to the cushion next to her.

"I think it's loving feelings," he corrected smoothly. "Loving feelings for _you_."

"Flattered once again!" Lily placed her hand on her chest. "Still carrying a torch for me, Potter?"

"Always, Flower."

She turned her head slightly and arched an eyebrow at the nickname he had just christened her. Flower? She didn't know whether he was being creative or stupid. Lily was a flower all right, but to use that as a nickname? It was a first.

"You're not turning me on, Potter," Lily said matter-of-factly. "At least call me a sweeter name. Flower is plain."

James laughed and stretched out so that he head was resting on the cushion and his legs were propped on the coffee table. The posture seemed comfortable, and while it may have looked insanely ridiculous when others performed it, James made it look casual, as always. Lily grinned to herself. He always managed to pull the strangest things off. He amused her, sure, but amusing her was one thing and fancying her was another.

"But that's what a like about it," he replied. "It suits you."

"Are you calling me plain?"

His grin widened. "As plain as a Lily can get."

Despite her efforts to not be amused this time, Lily couldn't help the quirk of her mouth. "And how plain is that?" she said, humoring him.

James dropped his feet to the floor and leaned forward so that their faces were only a few centimeters apart. "Not plain at all," he whispered.

He smelled faintly like the outside world, a mixture of grass, wind and the night air. But it made sense, considering he had just returned from Quidditch practice, which had been scheduled right after their return from Hogsmeade. James really worked his team to its limits.

"Oh you're quite the charmer," she said sarcastically.

He stood up and swept a bow. "That I am."

Feeling as if she had dealt with him enough for a day, Lily waved him off and opted for the book that was still lying on her lap. She was certain that James was an entertainer, but she was also certain that she would never fall for him, despite his good looks and charm. James was a player, and she avoided them like the plague. It was one reason why she had fallen for Jenson. He was loyal, sweet, a bit pushy at times, but still an overall four-star boyfriend.

She opened her book but James interrupted her again. "Bored of me already, Flower?" He clucked his tongue. "You have the attention span of an ant."

"A goldfish, Potter," she corrected without looking up.

"Pardon?"

Lily glanced up, and was rather startled at the space between them, or rather, the lack thereof. He was hovering right above her, a playful smile on his lips. That was another negative aspect of James. She liked mature boys who would take their relationship seriously, not ones like James who tossed it about as if it were a Quaffle.

She brushed a few bangs out of her eyes and said patiently: "The correct saying is, 'you have the attention span of a goldfish,' not an ant."

He straightened, shrugged, and then narrowed his eyes. "And how would _you_know goldfish have short attention spans?"

Lily frowned in thought. When she realized that she _didn't _know, and since she was unwilling to admit defeat, she brushed his comment aside. "It's just a saying."

"See, you don't know." When she rolled her eyes, he grinned. "And why must we follow _old_ sayings? This is the time of innovation."

"That's great." She looked back down at her book.

James huffed and blew out a breath of irritation. Lily sighed exasperatedly. His immaturity was really getting to her, and while she wasn't one to pick on others, she couldn't help but think that he would've been more successful if he had gotten rid of his childish behavior. He had to grow up sooner or later, and personally, she believed that sooner was better. She couldn't say that she was always mature, but at least she acted like the seventeen-year-old she was most of the time.

"But Flow…" James cut himself off when the portrait swung open and Sasha Bones walked in. "Excuse me for a moment, will you?"

Without waiting for a reply, he hopped off the armrest of the couch and greeted the newcomer with a rather passionate lip-suckering kiss. Lily refrained from gagging. Of course, it was just like James to give her front-row seats to a heavy make-out session.

When the pair had enough of their little let's-see-who-can-suck-lips-better game, he broke away from Sasha and smiled at her before glancing over to Lily. Lily was about to raise her eyebrows to show that she was highly unimpressed when Sasha suddenly snapped her fingers.

"Oh, Lily! I just remembered. Farrell is waiting outside for you right now."

Lily nodded and set her book down. She felt increasingly sorry for the novel. It was already the third time that she had neglected it for something else. She promised that she'd make it up to the thing later.

"Flower," James whispered when she walked past, "don't forget to give him a punch for me."

Lily paused and glared. "Why don't I give _you_ a punch for myself?" She stormed out the portrait hole before he could reply.

Jenson was pacing back and forth in the corridor, but he grinned when he saw her. Lily couldn't help but smile. He wasn't particularly handsome, but at least his smiles were warm and friendly. James', on the other hand, conveyed the message: 'You know I'm better than you.'

"Good evening," Jenson said quietly. "I just thought I'd see how you're doing."

Lily quirked a brow. "Despite the fact that you just saw me a few hours ago?"

"Yes, I guess." He smiled sheepishly. "You're irresistible, Lily."

"I know," she said lightly. "I'm just too unique."

He reached out and grasped her hand, his bright blue eyes scanning her face for any form of discomfort or hesitation. Lily smiled, giving him eye-for-eye. He was a good boyfriend… a good boyfriend who was incredibly insecure.

A few seconds of awkward silence later, he finally released her hand and flashed her a bright smile. "I'll see you in the Great Hall, Lily," he said, giving her a brief kiss on the forehead. "Okay?"

"Sure," she replied. She waved as she watched him disappear down the corridor.

Finding no reason to stand in the corridor any longer, she walked back to the common room… only to see James occupying the couch that she had been sitting in. And what was worse? Her book was tossed to the ground, her bag pushed to the side, and he had left absolutely no space for her. James was, after all, anything but short.

Lily contemplated. What should she do? Conjure water and dump it on his face? Take a sledgehammer and knock him out of his sleepy state? Or should she be nice to her 'stalker' for once and let him rest in peace till dinnertime?

"So what'll it be?" he suddenly said, startling Lily so much that she jumped back a step.

She wasn't any jitterier around him than anyone else, but it seemed as if James always had the ability to startle her, no matter how prepared she thought she was. It took her a few seconds to gather her marbles again and by that time, she had perfected her glare. It was depressing that his eyes were closed.

"What'll what be?" she snapped.

James opened his eyes halfway and gazed at the ceiling. "Are you going to drench me in water? Hit me with a hammer?"

Lily's eyebrows shot up. "Never knew were a Legilimens."

He glanced at her and smirked, tucking his hands behind his head. "I'm no Legilimens, Flower. You're just an open book. Everything is written on your face so plainly that I'm curious as to why Farrell hasn't realized anything yet."

Lily, who had by now given up any hopes of shoving him off the couch, crossed her arms and opted for the armchair across from him. "And what exactly is there for Jenson to realize?"

James grinned and sat up in a swift, fluent motion. "That you like me, not him."

She scoffed outrageously. "Get over yourself, Potter. You're just grudging over the fact that Jenson is my boyfriend and has been for the past few months."

"Ah, bloody hell no. I'm just saying that Farrell is certainly not worth your time."

She couldn't help but chuck an apple at him. "And _you_ are?"

James nodded. "Of course."

Lily couldn't believe it. His arrogance was astounding! "And someone certainly isn't egotistical," she said wryly. She turned her head towards the ceiling and threw out her arms like a player making a dramatic statement. "Why oh _why_ do I always have to get stuck with people whose names begin with J?"

James tilted his head. "J isn't a bad letter. It's just a waste on your boyfriend."

She sighed and gave him a dry smile. "Why must all good-looking and smart guys be egotistical?"

His hazel eyes widened so abruptly that the light that hit them dazzled her. Even through his thin-framed glasses, his orbs were sparkling. "You admit I'm good-looking and smart?" he asked incredulously.

Lily shrugged. "Why does it matter? You already knew anyway."

James' grin was fast. "I just wanted to hear you say it." He smirked then. "I always knew you took a liking into me, Flower. It's about time you finally admitted it."

She smiled slightly. "You're too arrogant for your own good. You think _everyone _loves you."

"They do," he replied simply. "And don't bother denying it. If you walk around the corridor and scream 'I hate James Potter!', everyone would be at your throat in less than a minute."

"And yet I'm still alive and well," she responded, somewhat amused.

He grinned cheekily. "That's because they know I don't mind." He ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it up a bit. Lily couldn't help but let her eyes trail to his dark locks. James always thought he looked better with messed up hair, and though she didn't deny it, she couldn't help but wonder what he looked like if he had bothered to placate the beehive on his head.

She seemed to have stared at him too long because he gradually dropped his hand and peered at her, head tilted as if studying her reaction.

"Evans?"

Lily snapped out of her trance. "Yes, Potter?"

"Whom were you thinking about?" He grinned cockily. "Me?"

She looked at him as if he were crazy. "Please Potter, you're off your rocker. Why would I even bother thinking about you when you think about yourself enough? You're your own idol, Potter."

He scowled, looking rather frustrated. "Is it really that hard to go out with me? Come on Flower, it's not that big of a deal. Everyone else has done it at least once."

"Which is why I refuse to," she replied smoothly. "Like you said, we shouldn't stick to tradition. I'm not going to cave under peer pressure, and I _refuse _to be the seven hundred and ninety-ninth girl to go out with you."

"But you won't be!" he protested. "I haven't gone on _that _many dates yet."

Lily eyed his frustration with amusement. She had only been playing around in the beginning, but now that she thought about it, it wasn't such a bad idea. James Potter may have been lacking many things, but he surely knew how to have fun. He had one hell of a personality and she didn't bother denying it. Whatever the case, spending a day with him would undoubtedly be entertaining, but she didn't want to drop several years of persistence just because she was too lazy to reject him again. At the rate she had been going at, it had almost turned into a sport.

"Fine, Potter," she said, enunciating every word. "I'll go out with you."

His eyes widened automatically. "Bloody hell, Evans. You're not kidding?"

She shook her head, enjoying every single minute of it. Oh, he had better wait. She wasn't even done yet. "Yes, I'm not kidding."

James suddenly jumped out of his seat and flew on top of her. Yes, he had actually jumped _on top of her_. Lily groaned and clutched her abdomen in agony. He seemed to realize that it hadn't been such a good idea and swiftly got off her, but there was a huge smile plastered across his face.

"I knew you'd agree one day, Flower. Took you long enough, I have to say, but…"

"Hold your horses, Potter, I'm not done yet." His smile faded slightly, but there was still curiosity in his eyes.

"Really?"

She nodded and then extracted a small sheet of parchment from her bag. She smiled and handed it to him. "Take a number, Potter."

James blinked and mutely took the parchment. Lily grinned and stood up, taking her book with her. She wasn't even to the staircase when she heard an indignant sputter and a cry of disbelief.

"Number_ 59_?"

Lily threw back her head and laughed all the way up the steps.

She could still see the look on James' face.

One word: _Priceless._

Revenge really was sweet.

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**Author's Note: **Bwahahahahaha Lily's revenge! Review please :) Hope you were as amused as Lily is!

_xox **KRS**_


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